just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
