we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
