Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
