pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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