We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
