Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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