Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
