awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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