By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The struggles of a small town man whore
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize