Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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