I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
