Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
