I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize