the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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