i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize