Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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