No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
