I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
