...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
im six kinds of drunk right now
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
