My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
