It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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