I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
