I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
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