I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
