you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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