Please don't use social media to get back at me.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
