Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
