I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
