I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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