That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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