That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
