Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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