Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
