She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
