i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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