Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize