8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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