He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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