Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
