Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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