so let's talk penis.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
