We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i now understand why vodka
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize