The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
