nut hugger
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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