I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
tell your sister to shave her snatch
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
