New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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