I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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