How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
