Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
