she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
