i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
