She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
