i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
ttyl tear gas
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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