i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
