I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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