I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
