I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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