Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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