Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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