Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
