He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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