plz talk dirty to me
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
