I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
