I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
