dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
