Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
