I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize